Edit As You Go

     I started off the year with so many ideas, so many goals for my baking and creative arts journey. I had big visions of monthly projects, of learning new skills, and preparing myself for my next steps as a writer and maybe illustrator. The idea was for me to make cookie art as tributes to my favorite books and take a trip down memory lane as I reviewed books from my childhood as well and then created cookie artwork to honor those books. I outlined ideas for each month.

    I stared off great with my own book, Green Goo, as I so love the new illustrations that Trey Chavez created for me as they gave new life to my story book when it was finally made available in print.

    Then I moved onto a book I checked out almost weekly while I was in kindergarten, The Snowy Day. Ezra Jack Keats work in collage seemed to be perfect for cookie art. I was enchanted by his book and pleased with my cookie collage.

    From there, it was The Color Kittens, another favorite from my preschool days. The book is written by Margaret Wise Brown-maybe best known for Goodnight, Moon. The illustrations are by a husband and wife team, Alice and Martin Provensen. They illustrated dozens of books together, and The Color Kittens is lush and dreamy. I was fortunate to see The Little Golden Book museum display when it stopped off in Muskegon , Michigan. I saw original illustrations from this book, a dream come true.

    My next set of cookie art for April was Walt Disney's Grandpa Bunny, since it was near Easter. I remember the illustrations in this book were so beautiful, they dazzled four year old me. The shadows on the snow, the fall leaves, and the vibrant sunset illustrations were all so lovely they made me feel all soft inside, with that nervous night before the first day of school feeling, so pretty you could almost cry.

    The next book I wanted to use for my project was The Shy Little Kitten. This Little Golden book was first published in 1946, the year my mom was born, and was a favorite of hers. Since May has Mother's Day, that seemed a fitting honor. The author is Cathleen Schurr, my own mother is Kathleen, and the illustrator is Gustaf Tenggren.

    I knew all along that June, with Father's Day in it, was going to be The Bunny Book, as it was one of the books my dad always read to me, and I have loved it so. This one is illustrated by Richard Scarry, story by Patsy Scarry. It is a sweet little story where a family of bunnies tries to figure out what their baby bunny will grow up to be. Spoiler alert, he wants to be a daddy bunny. Such an appropriate book for June and to honor my dad.

    I wasn't able to follow the timeline I wanted for these projects. I wasn't able to go as in depth with learning new decorating skills as I hoped to do. I still learned new techniques, and improved on my skill, had some fun, and got to eat cookies-all big wins. Life happened, so I had to keep editing my time lines, changing my plans, and sometimes doing only one cookie per book project instead of whole sets.

    It was hard to admit I needed to make changes, either due to time constrictions, schedule changes, stressful life events for family members, or just plain fatigue. It felt like defeat at first. Then I worked on not just editing my actions and projects, but also editing my reactions to needing to make these changes, and accepting the new way the projects looked, and finding pleasure in the new outcomes, in what I have been able to complete so far.

    I also meant to write in depth about each project, and exactly what the books, stories, and pictures meant to me as a child, and now as an adult. For now, these abbreviated writings will have to do. Is it what I planned? Nope. It is more than I thought I would be able to do, and the journey has still brought me satisfaction and happiness. 

Pause in the Journey

     As summer winds down I took a pause in my baking journey. This holiday weekend I chose to work with one of my standby cookie recipes, my sugar cookie recipe. I decided it was not time to delve into any new recipes. Several of the new recipes I have in my queue appear to me to be more autumn oriented. My sugar cookie recipe is year round for me, changed to be seasonally appropriate depending on the cutters I use. Since I bought several new cookies cutters at the summer sidewalk sales, I figured now is a good time to try them.

    I also made batches of my citrus trio cookies, as they seemed to be a great addition to my end of summer theme I wanted to create. I was quite pleased with how they all turned out. It was fun to indulge in some cookies just for me. I still created several gift plates, had sets of cookies I brought to two family gatherings, and my best friend was able to use several plates of cookies at her family gathering as well, so I felt I was being true to my journey for the year in that regard, while sort of recharging my battery for my creativity for myself.

    This Labor Day, as I pause to reflect, one aspect I have been grateful for on my baking journey this year, is taking the time to learn and work on new recipes just for the sake of learning something that I want to know more about and share with others. People have said in the past that I should do this as a business or as fulltime work, but for me that would take away the joy and relaxation that I experience when I bake, the ability to shut off my anxieties and just be. 

    One practical offshoot of this endeavor has been allowing myself to look at other labors or work that I do in my life with a new perspective. I have never had the best relationship with any of my past jobs in my younger days, always being way too dependent on them for my daily existence, for all aspects of my life, and so afraid of what might happen if I ever unexpectedly lost that integral part of my existence.

     Learning for the sake of learning has been the tool I needed to change how I relate to work. It has allowed me to take the time to step back and look at how I relate to my tasks and make changes that might not seem practical to others, but are necessary for me to finally have a healthier relationship with the concept of work, learning, career, and how I fill my time on a daily basis. 

    This Labor Day that is my hope for others, that they too may be able to figure out what it means to labor, to work, to create, to contribute to their life and their community, and how to do so in productive and healthy ways.