A Matter of Perspective

     It's been a hot minute since I have written a blog post. I still want to share the last of my fan art project from last year at some point, but I have found something very inspiring that I want to share right now as a dear friend of mine is off on a new adventure.

    Midlife can be magical. It can be a time of exploring new options, making new friends, and reconnecting with pals from the past. 

It can also be stressful due to health changes that occur during that time frame -hello midlife crisis and menopause. We often times find ourselves having to help our older loved ones as they face their own age related health issues, some severe. There can also be the challenges of having settled into a career and then finding it pulled out from under you due to downsizing, changing sales landscapes, and the lingering aftereffects of a worldwide pandemic.

Whatever the reasons, it can be a time of reflection, change, and upheaval. Sometimes it helps to look outside of our usual viewpoint, to make changes-such as one of the hardest changes of all-a change of our perspective.

I have recently had the privilege of reconnecting with a dear friend from my high school days, Valerie--owner of Valerie Sue Creations. She has found herself in interesting territory as she starts her creative journey, exploring her talents for poured painting art, marketing, and entrepreneurship.

I think one of Valerie’s own paintings best illustrates the point of how changing our viewpoint or perspective can bring about positive growth and change. When she first created the painting it didn't seem too special to her and then she turned it around look at it from a different perspective. It was then she saw the emergence of a butterfly and that changed how she felt about this art piece. It is such a great truth for us to hold onto, a change of perspective can be just what we need.

    Please enjoy a brief interview with Valerie as she explains her new journey-how it emerges from her past and is leading to a fulfilling present and future. Please also enjoy the two perspectives on her artwork at the end of this essay. Please also make note of events Valerie will be at this year-where you can meet and speak with her and buy original artwork. A link to Valerie's website is at the end of this post.

Valerie--in her own words:

I am a fluid artist who does original art work, wearable artwork and functional artwork.

 

How did you learn about fluid art?

I was immediately intrigued when I happened upon a video of paint pouring/fluid art. In 2020 I started watching paint pouring YouTube videos. I found it very soothing to watch – and addictive! I loved watching the movement and energy of the colors. It seemed almost magical how lines of paint or puddles of paint quickly transformed into something beautiful!

Gradually I started purchasing some of the supplies, but I didn’t make the time to try it for myself. Honestly, I suspect I was reluctant to try because I was afraid of finding out I couldn't achieve the same stunning outcomes as others.

At the beginning of 2023 I found out that my position at the company I had been at for 24 years would be done at the end of the year. The company decided to no longer provide the service that I supported. I was asked stay on with the company until the end of the year. That year was quite unique as I transitioned from a hectic workload to a more relaxed workload since we were no longer pursuing and onboarding new clients.

During this time, I had the privilege of meeting several people who absolutely loved whatever it was they were doing. I even met an 80-year-old gentleman who was getting cancer treatment and couldn’t wait to get back to work. He said that when you love what you’re doing, it isn’t a job. My jealousy kicked in and made me want the same thing. I chose to break out of my comfort zone and aim for a job that I love. Rather intimidating goal when I had no clue what it was that I loved to do!

My mind was spinning with all of the looming unknowns and endless possibilities.  I finally started exploring paint pouring to quiet my mind. Once I tried it, I was hooked! It also proved to be a clue to what it was that I loved to do.

 

How does this expression of your artistic endeavors fit in with other art forms you practice?

Honestly, I'm amazed that I enjoy fluid art now, considering I used to not be a fan of abstract art and couldn't really grasp it. I liked things clearly defined and easily understood. In life, I used to be very black or white, no in between. But now I’m just thrilled we live in a colorful world! Things aren’t nearly as easily defined as I once thought they were. I think my taste in art reflects this transition.

In the past, I’ve dabbled in oil painting and acrylic art painting. The first painting class I went to was with you (Terri). It wasn’t something I would have pursued on my own, but I was up for going with someone else. Terri’s excitement for trying it was enough to get me to try it.

I’ve never been good with “simple” so the first picture I choose to paint was a ridiculously complex one to start with. It took forever to finish. Partly because it was a lot for someone new to painting to do. And partly because I was shocked that I could do it (with LOTS of help from the instructor) and I was concerned about messing it up. So, I stalled working on it. I finally finished it on the last day of the year 2004 because I didn’t want it to extend into another year!

I can be a very analytical thinker, so I never really thought of myself as artistic. I’ve explored different types of creative activities throughout the years such as pottery classes, stained glass, painting parties, etc. In my role as a data analyst, I enjoy tapping into my creative side by building new spreadsheets to tackle issues, designing fresh charts and graphics to present customer data in a user-friendly manner, and creating ways to enhance our processes. When the data analyst position ended and I took time to explore, the creative side of me blossomed! I suspect it will be an ongoing balancing act between the two for me.

I enjoyed oil painting, but there was always the pressure for it to match the expectation, which wasn’t enjoyable to me. But with fluid art, my approach is totally different. Rather than the goal of painting a picture of an apple, it’s now an exploration of colors and techniques with general ideas of what the results will be rather than a specific expectation to achieve. For one painting, an abstract butterfly emerged quite unexpectedly!

There’s also the element that paint pouring results are much faster for than the realistic type of oil painting. It takes a lot of time and patience to paint the layers and details in oil painting. Who knows, maybe someday I’ll try a more abstract oil painting and find out that I enjoy that as well.

 

What are your hopes for your art as well as for your business?

Valerie Sue Creations allows me to combine my passions: fluid art painting, designing, fashion, and shopping all in one place. I am having so much fun designing products with some of my paintings on them! I'm really enjoying the process of seeing my artwork come to life in a new way.

My goal is to create artwork and products that brings me joy during the creative process and I hope my they bring joy to those who view or use them.

I'm constantly developing my creative style, aiming to establish a distinctive and recognizable signature that resonates with people.

I plan to start a YouTube channel featuring amazing fluid art videos. I hope it will become even more captivating as I develop my own distinctive style.

 

Have you ever thought about teaching classes?

YES! I love to teach so the idea of combining that with fluid art excites me. I recently gathered some friends to demonstrate how to create fluid art, and we had an amazing time together!

Right now, I'm working on uploading my original artwork onto my website. The project that’s next after that is to start offering classes or paint pouring parties.

 

What is your current schedule for in person sales events?

I’m currently working on wearable and functional art for upcoming events. I’ll have original artwork, coasters, wine glasses, jewelry, wine totes, and phone cases available for purchase. The upcoming events are:

Summer Art Market at the Rotary Club Pavilion in Rockford, Saturday 8/3/2024

Holiday Market 11/9/2024 at Bella vista Church, 5100 Belding Rd NE, Rockford MI

Valerie Sue Creations

 

My Cookie Fan Art Projects for July, August, and September

     I am still currently caught up on my cookie fan art projects as I did complete the ones for July, August, and September. 

    I made one change of books for the July project as I felt it was important to include a book that really impacted my whole outlook on life, from around second grade on  up. July's book was One Kitten Is Not Too Many written by Dorothy Levenson, and illustrated by Carl and Mary Hauge. It is a comic tale about a mama cat that has several babies. The dad of the human family thinks they have too many cats and brings the kittens to a pet store. Then each member of the family secretly goes to get just one kitten to keep mama cat company. This has always been my philosophy with our cats, the more the merrier.

    My August book was The Monster at the End of the Book: Starring Lovable, Furry, Old, Grover. This is written by Jon Stone and illustrated by Mike Smollin. This was another favorite book of mine that my dad used to read to me. He did a great job with Grover's voice as he desperately pleads with you to not turn the page.

    My September book was I Am a Bunny written by Ole Risom and illustrated by Richard Scarry. This was a favorite book of mine to read to my younger siblings. This was also one of the books featured at The Little Golden Book Museum Display that I got to see at the Muskegon Museum this past February. The seasonal pictures with the bunny, Nicholas, are enchanting. The fall leaves spread was perfect for September.

Edit As You Go

     I started off the year with so many ideas, so many goals for my baking and creative arts journey. I had big visions of monthly projects, of learning new skills, and preparing myself for my next steps as a writer and maybe illustrator. The idea was for me to make cookie art as tributes to my favorite books and take a trip down memory lane as I reviewed books from my childhood as well and then created cookie artwork to honor those books. I outlined ideas for each month.

    I stared off great with my own book, Green Goo, as I so love the new illustrations that Trey Chavez created for me as they gave new life to my story book when it was finally made available in print.

    Then I moved onto a book I checked out almost weekly while I was in kindergarten, The Snowy Day. Ezra Jack Keats work in collage seemed to be perfect for cookie art. I was enchanted by his book and pleased with my cookie collage.

    From there, it was The Color Kittens, another favorite from my preschool days. The book is written by Margaret Wise Brown-maybe best known for Goodnight, Moon. The illustrations are by a husband and wife team, Alice and Martin Provensen. They illustrated dozens of books together, and The Color Kittens is lush and dreamy. I was fortunate to see The Little Golden Book museum display when it stopped off in Muskegon , Michigan. I saw original illustrations from this book, a dream come true.

    My next set of cookie art for April was Walt Disney's Grandpa Bunny, since it was near Easter. I remember the illustrations in this book were so beautiful, they dazzled four year old me. The shadows on the snow, the fall leaves, and the vibrant sunset illustrations were all so lovely they made me feel all soft inside, with that nervous night before the first day of school feeling, so pretty you could almost cry.

    The next book I wanted to use for my project was The Shy Little Kitten. This Little Golden book was first published in 1946, the year my mom was born, and was a favorite of hers. Since May has Mother's Day, that seemed a fitting honor. The author is Cathleen Schurr, my own mother is Kathleen, and the illustrator is Gustaf Tenggren.

    I knew all along that June, with Father's Day in it, was going to be The Bunny Book, as it was one of the books my dad always read to me, and I have loved it so. This one is illustrated by Richard Scarry, story by Patsy Scarry. It is a sweet little story where a family of bunnies tries to figure out what their baby bunny will grow up to be. Spoiler alert, he wants to be a daddy bunny. Such an appropriate book for June and to honor my dad.

    I wasn't able to follow the timeline I wanted for these projects. I wasn't able to go as in depth with learning new decorating skills as I hoped to do. I still learned new techniques, and improved on my skill, had some fun, and got to eat cookies-all big wins. Life happened, so I had to keep editing my time lines, changing my plans, and sometimes doing only one cookie per book project instead of whole sets.

    It was hard to admit I needed to make changes, either due to time constrictions, schedule changes, stressful life events for family members, or just plain fatigue. It felt like defeat at first. Then I worked on not just editing my actions and projects, but also editing my reactions to needing to make these changes, and accepting the new way the projects looked, and finding pleasure in the new outcomes, in what I have been able to complete so far.

    I also meant to write in depth about each project, and exactly what the books, stories, and pictures meant to me as a child, and now as an adult. For now, these abbreviated writings will have to do. Is it what I planned? Nope. It is more than I thought I would be able to do, and the journey has still brought me satisfaction and happiness. 

Permission to Thrive

     What do you need to give yourself permission to do in order to thrive? What changes do you need to make so that you can feel affirmed and capable and move ahead?

    This sweet hibiscus had a few blooms when I brought it home from the store, then nothing for weeks and weeks and weeks. Finally, I said to myself and her, that it was okay with me if she never bloomed again. Her leaves were a lovely shade of green and that in itself was enough beauty. 

    This allowed me to enjoy her as she is and to focus on her care right where she is at. I kept watering her and used the plant food I bought. 

    And then one day, when she was able, she bloomed. She has the biggest blossoms I have ever seen on one of my hibiscus plants. Ever. Once I gave her permission to just be, it freed both her and me.

    Then I realized, I need to give that same grace to myself. I need to accept that it is okay to change as I go, that some goals need to be altered, as life and circumstances are so changeable. Changing your plan or changing your mind does not mean you have failed. It means you realize you need to make changes in order to continue to learn and grow, to truly thrive.

Cookie Fan Art, Project #3

     I started my 3rd cookie fan art project back in March, and then life got silly so it took me until the last weekend of April to complete it. Then life got even sillier, and now it has taken me until the middle of May to write up my blog post on it.

    This project is based off of one of my favorite Little Golden Books-The Color Kittens by Margaret Wise Brown. She is probably best known as the author of Goodnight, Moon. Illustrations are by Alice and Martin Provensen. I always found the pictures quite enchanting when I was younger. 

    Life can be hard on little children. Christmas comes just once a year, your birthday lasts but a moment, and then it’s gone. In the long stretch between those important holidays I would get mopey and lament that I sure wished someone would give me a present. 

    For those occasions, my mother had a stash of Little Golden Books wrapped in tissue paper that she stored in the hall cupboard. When I would wish for a present, she would grab one of the books for me. The books were maybe fifty cents a piece at that time. This helped bridge the gap between holidays. This also solidified my love of books and reading at an early age. 

    All good things come to an end, of course. There is the infamous story of the time I pined for a gift, my mom headed for her book cupboard, and I loudly added to my lament, “I sure wish someone would give me a present, and NOT just a book.” Children can be so hard to please! 

    Gouache was the medium used for The Color Kittens per a museum display I saw earlier this year that explored original works of art from The Golden Book Series. My cookie art decorating style still ended up being more watercolor than anything else, but I gave it a try. I created frosting washes and used edible painting markers as well. I also did a little fondant work and poured and painted painted with candy melts. I am quite happy with how these turned out.

Is There a Point?

     Is there a point? There might not be. We so often strive to find purpose and meaning in every little thing. Sometimes there is no deeper meaning than what is happening at the surface level, and that is okay.

    I think with my cookie fanart projects I am trying to capture an aspect of my childhood where you get totally lost or submersed in your play or creativity. I have faint memories of what that was like, to have time melt away, to have all worries and stresses fade out, and just be fully immersed in what I am doing in that moment.

    This is the sensation I am hoping to recapture, to help add to the arsenal of activities and processes that will continue to heal and strengthen my soul.

    Every aspect of these projects brings me so much happiness-from the planning, the reminiscing about favorite books, the creating of elements of the projects, and then the fun of putting all the pieces together. I hope you are able to find ways to engage your whole being in creativity as well.

Cookie Fan Art Project, #2

     I had so much fun working on this second project of mine. The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats was one of my FAVORITE books when I was in kindergarten. I would have checked it out every week when our class got to go the library but there was a policy-you could not check out the same book two weeks in a row, you had to give other people a chance to enjoy the book the same as you. Sharing was hard concept for me.

    The story was super relatable for me at that age, snow was magical, it was fun to walk about the neighborhood making tracks in the snow, sliding on ice, and trying to be included with the big kids in their play.

    I thoroughly enjoyed the illustrations, as did so many others, from the bright colors, to the shadows. I had never seen collage used for illustration in a picture book before, and I loved it. This book won the Caldecott Medal in 1963, and deservedly so. This book was special in so many ways. It takes place in an urban setting, which had not really been featured before, and has as the main character a child of color. As one of my favorite librarians said, "It may be the best picture book every created." (Full disclosure-my favorite librarian is my sister.)

    I tried to mimic collage in my cookie art fan piece. I used different layers of frosting, transfers, candy melts, chocolate melts, and fondant to layer my piece, give it texture, and depth. I also tried using food safe brushes and food color gels to "paint" with on the cookie surface as well. Helpful tip for this week is that candy melt chocolates, once cooled, are NOT as easily carved as modeling chocolate, two very different things!

    Please also see the links below to learn more about what inspired Ezra Jack Keats and more about his work.

https://www.ejkf.org/

https://www.npr.org/2012/01/28/145052896/the-snowy-day-breaking-color-barriers-quietly

Cookie Fan Art Project 2023, #1

     New Year's Resolutions are not for me. They just seem like another way to fail. It's not that I don't believe in trying to do your best for in setting goals, I do. It just has never worked out for me to set yearly goals. I get overwhelmed or I start off well, and if I make one mistake or drift a bit, I abandon ship.     

    In 2021 I created a baking project for myself at the beginning of the year, the goal being to try at least 12 new to me recipes. It was a great success. I learned a lot, tried new processes and explored new flavors, and had fun sharing my results with friends and family.

    I ended 2022 creating a cookie project based on a Poem from a favorite childhood book of mine-that had cemented my love of cookies and reading, way back when I was about 3 or 4. I had so much fun with that project, that it became the foundation of my 2023 project.

    This year I am going to do a monthly (or maybe more-just depends) cookie fan art project from favorite books of mine. I will include reasons why I love the art in a particular book, techniques I used to create the cookies, book reviews, and baking tips.

    My first cookie project of the year is-Green Goo-with illustrations by Trey Chavez. We were partnered when my story was part of a contest. My book earned a digital publishing contract, in part, due to Trey's AMAZING illustrations. When we initially worked on the project together, I didn't really have any special instructions for Trey, just for him to read the story and do his thing. I never mentioned in the story that I pictured the main character as a redhead, and yet, that was what Trey came up with on his own. It was interesting to see my storyboard scratching's compared to what Trey created. I am always and forever thankful for Trey's work.

    When my story's rights reverted back to me and I had the chance to produce a printed copy of my book, I was so glad Trey was able to partner with my on this as well. It is the most current illustrations that I based my cookie fan art on for this project.

    In this project it was my first time trying to sculpt a cookie a bit more, layering the dough and carving it and baking it in layers. This was also my first time trying to create a comic book effect by outlining characters and objects with black edible ink.

    My pro-tip baking advice-I ALWAYS use salted butter-because on almost every baking show I have watched, the most common thing that contestants get dinged for is not enough salt, seasoning, or flavor.

My rough sketch on the left, Trey's AMAZING work on the right.

The cookies in comparison to the OUTSTANDING illustrations.

 

A Toast to 2023 for You and Me

     I used to come up with resolutions for the new year. And when those seemed too daunting, I changed my phrasing and worked on life goals. And then when that seemed to be a bit much, I pondered picking a word, a thought, or action to align with for the year. Then that seemed like way too much pressure too.

    In 2023 I have opted for some simple reflection as we transition to this new year. Somethings I still struggle with, but I seem more aware of those issues, so that feels like a small victory in itself. I hope to continue my journey in not dwelling so fully in the past. I have had some traumatic events over the last several years. My initial way of coping was replaying them all, over, and over, and over. I felt that if I could just think my way around the outcomes, figure out how things could have been different in hindsight, that somehow reality could magically change.

    I am at the point where I hope to allow my past to inform my present, but not rule it. I think that might be enough to focus on for this year. Cheers to you and me!

    

Tripping Down Memory Lane, Part 2

     Years ago, I took my dad on a little adventure just before Father's Day. It was part of my gift to him that year. We drove up to Croton Dam area near Newaygo and we explored the property that his grandparents and later his parents owned.

    It was a fun trip, as he was never one to shy away from nosing about. No one was at the remodeled cottage, so we walked right up to the windows and peered inside. We walked all around the property. He told me stories about why there was a chunk still missing out of the concrete steps leading up to the back door. It was him, in 1951. His older brother had built a car from scraps and let me 12 year old dad drive it-and he crashed while backing up to the house. He never got to drive it again,

    We walked across the street and looked at the lake where his grandpa, and then his dad and uncle, would put their boat in the water for fishing, the Kildaire, which was supposedly named for the area the Kelly family came from in Ireland.

    As is often the case in this life, you discover how small the world really is through sharing stories. It turns out, all those years ago, my dad knew my Aunt Sandy, my mom's brother Jim's wife, way back when they were children. Sandy's family would come rent a cottage near the dam and she said, years alter, that she remembered my dad's family--and their difficulties in getting their boat across the street and into the lake.

    Back in August, as the two year anniversary for my dad's last illness was on my mind, I started to feel pity for myself. I was feeling nostalgic and wanting to take my own trip down memory lane. But where could I go? We moved around a lot when I was a child. What was my touchstone? And who would want to go with me? Being the oldest sibling, and so much older than my younger siblings, we don't always share the same set of memories, so what I might care about, they might not even have been around for yet.

    I finally settled on touring around Grandville, MI. This was where my mom and her siblings were raised. We often went to my grandma's when we were children. I was in Grandville schools for part of my childhood-when we lived in both Walker and Wyoming. When we lived in the upper peninsula I came down and stayed with my grandparents for several weeks during the summers. As an adult I stayed with my grandma often, after my grandpa died, to help her with chores and take her to church. I even lived with her for several years, before it became necessary for her to go into assisted living.

    Once I had that settled, I deiced to go for my little trip down memory lane after I was done donating platelets since I go to the donation center in Grandville every few months to make those donations.

    The first place I headed was Grandville's small downtown area. When I was in kindergarten through about second grade, my parents tried their hands at owning a business, a bookstore they called The Book Nook. I know which two store fronts might have been it, but I am not quite sure. My mom created a special children's section in the store-that she called Pooh's Corner. Another local bookshop later used that name when they decided to open book stores that were for children only. I was so pleased when the classic older car drove by in the last of this set of four pictures, as we had a gold car similar to that when I was around 6 or 7.

    

    The next place I headed to was Wedgewood Park, a park that was right by my grandma's house-we could walk there from her house. In the winter they would flood the football field and you could ice skate there. When I was in 6th grade-I went to the elementary school that was opposite the park, Central elementary. At recess, I would go by the fence by the tennis courts-and that was right by my grandma's backyard, and she would hand me chocolate chip cookies through the chain link fence.

    Wedgewood Park has a special children's playground that is dedicated to the memory of a friend of mine, a little boy named Bobby. He died in an accident just weeks before we were supposed to start kindergarten. When I was looking at his memorial at the park and brushed away some debris that was on it, a butterfly floated by.

        

    Then I went to look at the war memorials and the garden's dedicated to the Rosie the Riveters. I also walked past the softball field. I sued to go there at night to watch ball games when I stayed with my grandparents during the summer. You could hear the games from their house, the crack of the aluminum bats, the cheers. It was so much fun to walk over and watch and grandma always gave me to change to buy snacks-such as Big League Chewing gum, or popcorn, or a candy bar.

    I walked along Buck Creek. We used to look for crayfish and walk along the banks, climbing on the bigger rocks.

    I ended my little journey by walking over to Central Elementary. The playground has changed a bit. The tennis court is now for horseshoes. It isn't the same basketball hoop, but it is where I made my first basket. Grandma used to walk me over there to play and I had two small rubber basketballs, an orange one and a green one. When I was about 5 I finally made my first basket.

    

    

Three Minute Resurrection

     Almost at the two-year mark for when my dad suddenly became seriously ill. I’m not sure what I expected at this point. I suppose I hoped to be less surprised, less shocked, and less disappointed by the turn of events, and then by how everything unraveled in such a devastating fashion.

    As I see memories come up in my feed, from just over two years ago, just before the bottom dropped out of everything, I am so grateful that I had no idea what was coming. I am slowly sorting it out and beginning to accept that nothing could have changed the outcome. Maybe it could have been slowed, or prolonged, but the outcome would have ended the same. This is progress. I still don’t always believe these truths, though. Someday I hope to embrace this completely.

    There are still plenty of days where I hope for a shift of time and space. Some days I still secretly hope that the outcomes I wanted will suddenly transpire. That has always been one of my main coping mechanisms, spending a good portion of my days residing in fantasy-land.

    Happily, my dad has one cousin that is still alive. She is named after their grandfather the same as my dad. She recently turned 89. I was messaging her and her husband, sending birthday greetings and wishes to her. I asked her if she would write down memories from her childhood, whether just her own or ones that involved my dad as well.

    She answered me right away, telling the story of when their own grandmother had died. She was fourteen, my dad’s brother was ten, and my dad was seven at the time. As was the tradition at that time, the wake and the funeral took place in their grandparents’ house. The three children were tasked with walking to the front, where their grandmother’s body was in her open casket, and they had a corsage that they were to put on her, the oldest cousin, Wilma, being the one to pin it on their grandmother’s lapel.

    As the three children solemnly walked to the front, my dad, the sweet seven year old, leaned over and whispered to his older cousin to be sure to be careful and not stick grandma with the pin.

    This made me laugh out loud. My dad always had that sweet nature, not wanting anyone to be hurt. It also reminded me of my own struggles at age seven in trying to understand what death meant, what it meant to be dead. I had a little friend that died in an accident when I was five, and at age seven I still would wake up in the night and call for my mother, asking questions about why my friend died, and what it really means to be dead.

    In  hearing this new to me story, for a few brief minutes my dad was alive again.

Health and Rememberance

     My previous blog post was about the mission statement I had to write for the wellness program through my employer wellness plan. Little did I know the very next day some of those thoughts would be put to the test when I myself was suddenly very ill.

    It became crystal clear to me that now was a time I needed to focus on myself and self care. Self care is something that often gets kicked to the side as we live our every day lives-trying to fulfill all our obligations to our jobs, our families, our friends, and communities.

    I found myself needing emergency surgery to fix an issue with my gallbladder. I had not really had previous issues, but now I found myself with continual excruciating pain that had to be dealt with.

    I was a little leery about the fix, as I remembered my dad had such terrible problems when he had his surgery decades ago. Well, technology advances over time and as I much as I enjoy being like him in some ways, I am not him, I am me, and my body will react differently. Happily, my husband was told while I was in the recovery room that the surgery was textbook, and my recovery has been steady ever since that day in the beginning of April.

    I wish that recovery from a broken heart was more of a steady progression toward wellness like my physical recovery has been. It is such a journey of starts and stops, and steps backwards, and sometimes no progress at all. I think that is my big take away in the almost year and half it has been since my dad died. You just never know how you will feel about it on any given day. I don't you think you ever really get over it, but you learn to live with it better, you learn to give that pain a back seat, or a side seat to every day events and moments. It is still there, but it doesn't always color every little thing.

    And eventually more of the happy memories come forward to lend their glow to present moments. This is the first year that Memorial parades and events have taken place since the pandemic started. My heart was not ready for a large event like that.

    I am more about the small every day remembrances being done to honor those that have gone before me. I am all about enjoy desserts, having the sampler platter like my dad would if there is more than one ice cream being offered, eating all the cookies, and enjoying a second piece of cake.

    Last summer I took a trip down memory lane with the Tony Hillerman books my dad introduced me to many years ago. We are big mystery readers in our family. This summer I might revisit Sue Grafton's books. We'll see.

    Tonight we will watch The History Channel special on Teddy Roosevelt, as in 2020 the Washington and Grant specials were a big deal in our household while my dad was with us. He was a huge history buff, and that has been passed down to us. 

    There are so many ways we honor and remember those that have gone before us, do what every brings you peace, comfort, and happiness-especially if it involves ice cream.

Mission Statement-Begin to Heal

     I do take part in my employer's wellness program, not so much because I believe it will impact my overall health by much, but because if you do participate, and do contribute to your own health savings account, they will also make a donation if you complete certain physical and educational tasks through this program. The main task for this month was to write a mission statement for ourselves.

    My statement currently fits in with my belief on how we can help heal the world and make this experience of living better for ourselves and each other.

    The first task to recognized the things I can do for others, and the things I cannot do for others, and then to act accordingly.

I often feel helpless and overwhelmed by all the sorrows and difficulties in the world, like there is nothing I can personally do to alleviate those suffering from the impacts of war around the globe. Then I do nothing because I am overwhelmed and I end up feeling so hopeless. 

In reality, I can at least take an action to help in my own community, to help alleviate the suffering of others-such as people that are undergoing treatment for various illnesses and need blood or platelets. I am able to take a 4 hour block of time out of my day once a month or every other month and do a donation of a triple unit of platelets. It can’t fix global ailments, but it can help with local suffering, and if we all follow that lead-of helping out when and where we are, we could heal the world bit by bit, by healing our own communities.

So, This Is 100?

     I have been thinking all day about what  I might post. Should I do a final re-cap on my baking journey and goals from 2021? Should I shake the dust of 2021 from my shoes and focus on the goals and dreams that are 2022? Then when I logged into my blog I saw that this is going to be my 100th post. It feels like it should be monumental, that I should somehow mark it with some special wisdom. 

    Except that I don't have any great advice. The more I think on it, the more it turns from a happy thought to anxiety. Isn't that true in life? It sure is for me.

    And that brings me back to my exploration of words that I started towards the end of last year. I think there have been times in my life when I have not fully appreciated or respected the power that words have, the words we choose to replay in our minds, the words we assign ourselves, our situations, and others. 

    I must become a better caretaker of the words I use when I speak to myself and to others. When I tell fictional stories, when I tell my stories, and when I help others tell their stories I need to use great care and respect with the words that are used to convey these truths.

    Here's to the hope of a new year, to the community that comes from sharing our stories, and the hard work of thoughtfully choosing the words we give to each other.

Words Matter

     As a writer, I love the power that words have to convey emotion, to tell the stories I am trying to tell. As a regular human being I sometimes hate words, for the power they have to cause pain or division. I know this truth, this aspect, as I have seen it too many times in my own life and in the life of those I care about.

    I want to focus right now on the power of words to give comfort and healing. As some people know, this past year has been an extremely hard one for our family, not just because of the world wide pandemic that everyone has been struggling with, but because of the deep loss in our family with the passing of my father, and then my mother's many struggles with her health and well being.

    Hospice used their words of guidance and encouragement to help me be prepared for the reality of our situation, to know that the actual end was extremely close, so that I could make strong choices such as fighting to be in the care facility with my dad, and then knowing when the time was at hand to stay 24/7, that there was no turning back from this.

    And then when the unfathomable happened, just before what would ordinarily have been a joyous Christmas holiday season for our family, it was the words of friends and family that brought great comfort. A dear friend of mine has been through a similar loss with her mother just two years before. Her priest had passed on comforting words to her, among them the thought that God takes home the ones He has the most tender heart for during the Christmas season, the souls He holds in closest regard. Those were words I clung to then, and still cling to today for comfort.

    Little could that priest know that his words of comfort to my dear friend, would later be giving comfort to others, to me. We never know what sort of impact our words will have on others. I am trying to be more mindful of the words I choose to share with others, of the stories I am creating for myself, and for them, to help us all be able to write the best outcomes possible.

Pause in the Journey

     As summer winds down I took a pause in my baking journey. This holiday weekend I chose to work with one of my standby cookie recipes, my sugar cookie recipe. I decided it was not time to delve into any new recipes. Several of the new recipes I have in my queue appear to me to be more autumn oriented. My sugar cookie recipe is year round for me, changed to be seasonally appropriate depending on the cutters I use. Since I bought several new cookies cutters at the summer sidewalk sales, I figured now is a good time to try them.

    I also made batches of my citrus trio cookies, as they seemed to be a great addition to my end of summer theme I wanted to create. I was quite pleased with how they all turned out. It was fun to indulge in some cookies just for me. I still created several gift plates, had sets of cookies I brought to two family gatherings, and my best friend was able to use several plates of cookies at her family gathering as well, so I felt I was being true to my journey for the year in that regard, while sort of recharging my battery for my creativity for myself.

    This Labor Day, as I pause to reflect, one aspect I have been grateful for on my baking journey this year, is taking the time to learn and work on new recipes just for the sake of learning something that I want to know more about and share with others. People have said in the past that I should do this as a business or as fulltime work, but for me that would take away the joy and relaxation that I experience when I bake, the ability to shut off my anxieties and just be. 

    One practical offshoot of this endeavor has been allowing myself to look at other labors or work that I do in my life with a new perspective. I have never had the best relationship with any of my past jobs in my younger days, always being way too dependent on them for my daily existence, for all aspects of my life, and so afraid of what might happen if I ever unexpectedly lost that integral part of my existence.

     Learning for the sake of learning has been the tool I needed to change how I relate to work. It has allowed me to take the time to step back and look at how I relate to my tasks and make changes that might not seem practical to others, but are necessary for me to finally have a healthier relationship with the concept of work, learning, career, and how I fill my time on a daily basis. 

    This Labor Day that is my hope for others, that they too may be able to figure out what it means to labor, to work, to create, to contribute to their life and their community, and how to do so in productive and healthy ways.

Baking with Crisco

     So, as I have been sharing my baking journey this year, friends and family have been sharing recipes with me, and challenging me to try some of their favorite treats. This has been an unexpected bonus to me as I never know what interesting tidbits I might learn.

    The other day I was overjoyed to receive an message from my dad's cousin, Wilma. She then advised she would be mailing me her mother's, my great-aunt Jessie, cookbook from 1930. Wilma and her husband John did not waste one moment of time getting to the post office. The book arrived just a few days later.

    I decided that my next new cookie recipe to try would be one from this cookbook, The Art of Cooking and Serving by Sarah Field Splint, published in 1930. 

    I knew I wanted to do the orange sugar cookie as it would fit in nicely with two of my other new to me cookies from this year, the key lime and lemon cookies. Another reason I wanted to do an orange cookie is because Wilma and John are from Florida and I figured this would be a nice little tribute to them, oranges always are associated with Florida in my mind. 

    I wasn't sure how it would go as I have never baked or cooked with Crisco. I knew I wanted to be authentic to the cookbook and follow the recipe exactly as printed at least for the first batch. I was able to find some Crisco at our local grocery store. They didn't have any of the cans I remembered sitting on the shelf in my grandma's cupboard back in the day, those were all sold out. I did manage to snag the last packet of butter flavored Crisco sticks and used that. It was easy to work with and the dough was very creamy and smooth.

    I now have what I call my Summer Citrus Trio. This has been one of my more popular gift plates of cookies. They are just fabulous!